


The Hardest Thing

by Alltheshrinks



Series: Infidelity Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:07:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25998751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alltheshrinks/pseuds/Alltheshrinks
Summary: This part of the verse was inspired by the song The Hardest Thing, by 98 Degrees. You might want to look up the lyrics or listen to it if you are unfamiliar.Jensen remembers walking away from Jared.
Relationships: Jared Padalecki/Other(s), Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles/Other(s)
Series: Infidelity Verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1886815
Comments: 28
Kudos: 48





	The Hardest Thing

**Author's Note:**

> All of these verses are stand alone and can be read separately, though it is helpful to read the others. The only thing you need to know is that J2 are married to other people, but have had an on again, off again relationship for almost their entire adult life.
> 
> Comments make me insanely happy, I love engaging with all of you. Follow me over on Twitter @tltm78

Jensen has the faucet on, running the Lion King sippy cup under the spray of the water, letting it remove all of the suds from the molded yellow of the plastic container. He bangs it against the side of the dish drain and then shuts the sink off before grabbing the towel, which he uses to methodically wipe away all of the lingering drops of water.

He's been so distracted this morning, that he hasn't even noticed that his three-year-old son is no longer standing next to him in the kitchen. John Tyler is a typical toddler, has a huge affinity for dump trucks, puddles, and anything else that makes Jensen's life difficult.

He shakes his head, walking to the fridge to take out the container of apple juice from the top shelf and pours the golden-colored, translucent liquid into the comical cup in his hands. After he shuts the door, he closes the lid and walks around the island of the kitchen.

"J.T.?" His voice only slightly raised, his son usually doesn't stray far from his side and the childproofing they did to the entire house prevents him from getting hurt. "Tyler? Juice." The boy has certainly developed a palate for the sweet, fruity liquid, and Jensen steps into the den to find his boy.

In the middle of the room, his blonde-haired, green-eyed clone sits on the plush, oval rug that covers part of the hardwood flooring of the space. The tow-headed little tike giggles at Jensen and holds up one of his toy airplanes.

The sight of the innocuous plaything sparks something inside Jensen and he almost drops the cup. The plane turns into an actual plane, gliding through a clear, bright blue sky.

_Jensen is lying shirtless in a field of daisies and dandelions, squired away from the rest of the hustle and bustle of the city. The airpark that he's behind, has its fair share of planes and jets coming in and leaving streaks of exhaust in their wake._

_Jensen looks down and sees Jared's multicolored, iridescent eyes shine at him from behind the tangle of dark chestnut curls and his dimples suddenly appear, suddenly carving happiness in his features._

_"What time do you have to go back? " Jensen can feel the warmth of Jared's bare shoulder seeping into his skin as the younger man turns back around, placing his back once again against Jensen's chest._ _The older of the pair cards his fingers through the thick, silken tresses and just savors the moment._

_"We have still got a little time," comes the reply, quiet and low, like there is anyone around that might actually hear them._

_Jared picks that moment to sigh and face the other man, still keeping the naked portion of their upper bodies flush together. His eyes flicker down unconsciously, before meeting the jade orbs of the man beneath him. "I don't know why you have to leave at all. It's not like..." The younger man allows the sentence to trail off._

_Jensen sits up, maneuvering himself upon his palms and jostles the other man before grabbing for his shirt that has been discarded in the grass. "Not like what, Jared? Not like I love her?" This is such a tired argument that his head and throats are both starting to throb with the strange emotions that the man in his arms always seems to evoke._

_"I didn't mean.." Jared takes ahold of the garment that Jensen is fumbling with and stills his lover's hands. "I didn't mean that you don't love her, you know." The taller man says and withdraws his hand._

_"Jared," Jensen begins, but those big round eyes staring back at him are glassy and the older man feels the bottom fall out of his stomach. "I shouldn't even be here, right now. I promised..." Jensen can't even get all the words out before he feels himself choke. He does the only thing he knows to do and tosses the shirt aside and grabs Jared's face._

_He caresses the other man's strong jaw with his fingers, the pads gliding over the light stubble of the other man's tanned cheeks, feeling the firmness of those divine, but almost delicate bones under the surface of his digits. The kiss starts out light, chaste; it soon turns heated when Jensen threads his hands through the unruly locks of Jared's hair and licks open his lips. Jared moans into the kiss, letting himself be pulled in closer, while the older man's tongue tangles deliciously around his own._

_Jensen won't fall into this again, he can't, so he pulls away and reaches for his shirt once more. This time, he pulls it over his head and shoves away from Jared._

_Jared draws back like he had been hit by a fist, rising up onto his denim-clad knees in the grass. The other man puts some distance in between their bodies and stands up. "Where are you going?" Jared sounds wrecked, his bottom lip quivers slightly as he glares up at Jensen._

_The older man dusts the grass off the seat of his pants and forces trembling words to come out of his mouth, "I can't see you again, Jared. I can't and I won't."_

_Jared scrambles up to his own feet, where he can stare down at the other man, scornfully. "Say it."_

_Confusion passes Jensen's face for a moment, he swallows and shakes his head. "Say what?"_

_Jared crosses his arms protectively across his chest, discarded shirt forgotten at the moment, "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me."_

_Jensen feels the words hit him like a hundred tons of dynamite,rocking his core and shattering his soul. A pink tongue slips out to wet his suddenly dry lips and he feels the tears start to sting behind his eyes. "Jared..."_

" _No," Jared's resolve gains strength by the second, "You stand there and tell me that you don't love me."_

_Jensen lets his eyes close for a moment, breathes a deep breath into his lungs, and says, "Okay, I don't love you."_

_All of the air is forced out of the younger man's chest the second that the words fracture the silence and he swears that a part of his own heart breaks off like an iceberg in the spring. He can't even form words, so he does the only thing he knows to do; he picks up his own cotton tee from the ground and forces his arms through the openings._

_Jensen bites the inside of his jaw to keep his own tears at bay and then shoves his hands in the front pockets of his well-loved, worn jeans to keep from reaching out to the younger man. There is nothing left to say right now and that knowledge echoes loudly in the roar of the jet engines and the gentle breeze blowing softly across the field._

_Jensen aches to hold Jared, to reassure him that it will all be fine; that they will both be perfectly fine. Except that he can't, he's getting married tomorrow to the girl of his dreams and that's that.So he does what he can do and grants Jared a reprieve, turning to walk back to his car; he pretends that he can't hear the other man's gentle sobs as the gets to his car._

There is a loud WHACK on the floor at Jensen's feet that drags him back to the present and away from the painful memory that he was just in. He looks down to see that J.T. has dropped the replica aircraft on the floor in his haste to get his cup from his father's grasp.

"Thank you, daddy," matching emerald eyes, still filled with wonder and innocence gaze up at him as the boy brings the cup up to his mouth and takes a healthy sip.

"You're welcome, buddy." Jensen wipes the toddler's disheveled hair out of his eyes and pulls the boy close to his leg. The child goes easily, resting his cheek against Jensen's thigh and the older man vows to not spend so much time wishing he was elsewhere.


End file.
